Archive for the Shitty Musicians Category

Dave Grohl Owes Me (AKA Nickelback Sucks Ass)

Posted in Commentary, Nickelback Sucks Ass, Shitty Musicians with tags on April 27, 2014 by The Buddha Rats

Facebook. A wonderland of meme’s, old friends and political ramblings.

I was reading a collection of meme’s/quotes and stumbled across Dave Grohl’s  jab at a Canadian band called Nickelback. They came to fame in the 90’s. I should have heard of this band, but was thankfully spared for over almost 20 years until Dave Grohl opened his trap. Based on Dave’s funny quote about “hearing the devil when you play any Nickelback song backwards” and things being worse when you “play them forward because you just hear Nickelback” I decided to take a chance and check them out on YouTube. I figured how bad could they be?

How bad? Really. Fuc**ng. Bad. I got through 23 seconds of something titled Rockstar. It sucked ausing my right ear to bleed. The douchebag singer sounded like he hadn’t taken a shit since 1987. The lyrics were beyond abysmal and most likely plagiarized from a Canadian Jr. HS student’s lost notebook. I also learned from a coworker that the a-hole singer married Avril Lavine. Misery must love company.

Are the only Canadian musicians worth a damn Neil Young and the guys from The Band? Why hasn’t anyone repossessed Nickelback’s instruments or, better yet, shot them all dead in the street like they would have done in the Old West? Questions, questions…

Now back to Dave Grohl,. This guy is awesome, but with great power comes great responsibility and Dave owes me. He owes me Big Time, because I can never get my pre-Nickelback life back. The only way Dave could possibly make things right is by covering this Buddha Rats song which has, and always will, kick ass and could possibly kick even harder if the Foo fighters would cover it:

Happy Sunday. F**k Nickelback. God bless Donald Duck, vaudeville and variety.

 

 

 

 

 

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Quote Of The Week

Posted in Shitty Musicians with tags on November 25, 2012 by The Buddha Rats

“99.98723% of all music sucks. I listen to the other .01477% of it. Blues Traveler sucks.”

Charlie Watts Sucks

Posted in Shitty Musicians with tags , on November 11, 2012 by The Buddha Rats

I have nothing against simple, pocket drumming. I like Rock and Roll. I like R& B. I like listening to the blues, even though it’s really boring to play. That being said, Charlie Watts has to be the worst drummer to ever emerge from the Brit rock scene. How someone so bad could be fortunate enough to put their half-hearted stamp on some of the best rock tunes ever written is beyond me.

How can Charlie think that Ringo is a bad drummer when Meg White can take him to school? Seriously, Chuck is a hack behind the kit. He’s not playing behind the beat, you idiots, the poor bastard just can’t keep time. The guy keeps time like an old retarded deaf person, and hits the drums about as hard as my toddler. Maybe my toddler hits harder? My money is on my kid. He barely can keep up with the rest of the band on Start Me Up. His fills on Moonlight Mile are terrible at best, and (for someone who claims to be a jazz drummer) his beats on the Can You Hear Me Knocking jam are laughable. Charlie Watts SUCKS. Im not jealous of his band, I’m not jealous of his success, I just think the guy is a no-talent. He is not loose and soulful, he’s weak and uncommitted and Mick must be the biggest pussy in the world to get punched up by the guy.

Someone blogged that “listening to him on stage with the Rolling Stones is like hearing a guy who has never heard a goddamn Stones song in his life”. I saw them live, and that about sums it up. Keith thinks he’s great. I think that Keith has done too many drugs.

Jazz? Yea, I like jazz: Miles, Bobby Timmons, Duke, Charlie Parker, John Coltrane, et. al., and I bought Watts’ jazz record. His drumming s.u.c.k.e.d. It was horrible. It was a geezer trying to swing, when his life-force had been sucked out 20 years prior. It had nothing. It was just flat. I triple-dog-dare you to compare that with the jazz offering by Ginger Baker circa 93. If you can’t hear the difference you shouldn’t be allowed to listen to any more music.

Here’s a short list of better drummers. Drummers that command their kit, and some that aren’t even drummers, but are still better than Charlie:

Pete Best, Ringo Starr, John Densmore, John Bonham, Keith Moon, Tim “Herb” Alexander, Ginger Baker, Louis Bellson, Gregg Bissonette, Art Blakey, Terry Bozzio, Jimmy Chamberlin, Billy Cobham, Phil Collins, Stewart Copeland, Peter Criss, Steve Gadd, Don Henley, Elvin Jones, ,Gene Krupa, Tommy Lee, Mitch Fucking Mitchell, Joe Morello, Rod Morgenstein, Larry Mullen Jr., Neil Peart (and I hate this guy), Simon Philips, Mike Portnoy, Bernard Purdie, Buddy Rich, Max Roach, Ed Shaughnessy, Chad Smith (yes, even Chad is better), Steve Smith, Matt Sorum, Ed Thigpen, Lars Ulrich, Joey Waronker, Chick Webb, Dave Weckl, Alex Van Halen, Noel Gallagher, and Elliott Smith. Yes, even non-drumming drummers like Noel and Elliott are better than that no-talent-hack CW.