Charlie Watts Sucks

I have nothing against simple, pocket drumming. I like Rock and Roll. I like R& B. I like listening to the blues, even though it’s really boring to play. That being said, Charlie Watts has to be the worst drummer to ever emerge from the Brit rock scene. How someone so bad could be fortunate enough to put their half-hearted stamp on some of the best rock tunes ever written is beyond me.

How can Charlie think that Ringo is a bad drummer when Meg White can take him to school? Seriously, Chuck is a hack behind the kit. He’s not playing behind the beat, you idiots, the poor bastard just can’t keep time. The guy keeps time like an old retarded deaf person, and hits the drums about as hard as my toddler. Maybe my toddler hits harder? My money is on my kid. He barely can keep up with the rest of the band on Start Me Up. His fills on Moonlight Mile are terrible at best, and (for someone who claims to be a jazz drummer) his beats on the Can You Hear Me Knocking jam are laughable. Charlie Watts SUCKS. Im not jealous of his band, I’m not jealous of his success, I just think the guy is a no-talent. He is not loose and soulful, he’s weak and uncommitted and Mick must be the biggest pussy in the world to get punched up by the guy.

Someone blogged that “listening to him on stage with the Rolling Stones is like hearing a guy who has never heard a goddamn Stones song in his life”. I saw them live, and that about sums it up. Keith thinks he’s great. I think that Keith has done too many drugs.

Jazz? Yea, I like jazz: Miles, Bobby Timmons, Duke, Charlie Parker, John Coltrane, et. al., and I bought Watts’ jazz record. His drumming s.u.c.k.e.d. It was horrible. It was a geezer trying to swing, when his life-force had been sucked out 20 years prior. It had nothing. It was just flat. I triple-dog-dare you to compare that with the jazz offering by Ginger Baker circa 93. If you can’t hear the difference you shouldn’t be allowed to listen to any more music.

Here’s a short list of better drummers. Drummers that command their kit, and some that aren’t even drummers, but are still better than Charlie:

Pete Best, Ringo Starr, John Densmore, John Bonham, Keith Moon, Tim “Herb” Alexander, Ginger Baker, Louis Bellson, Gregg Bissonette, Art Blakey, Terry Bozzio, Jimmy Chamberlin, Billy Cobham, Phil Collins, Stewart Copeland, Peter Criss, Steve Gadd, Don Henley, Elvin Jones, ,Gene Krupa, Tommy Lee, Mitch Fucking Mitchell, Joe Morello, Rod Morgenstein, Larry Mullen Jr., Neil Peart (and I hate this guy), Simon Philips, Mike Portnoy, Bernard Purdie, Buddy Rich, Max Roach, Ed Shaughnessy, Chad Smith (yes, even Chad is better), Steve Smith, Matt Sorum, Ed Thigpen, Lars Ulrich, Joey Waronker, Chick Webb, Dave Weckl, Alex Van Halen, Noel Gallagher, and Elliott Smith. Yes, even non-drumming drummers like Noel and Elliott are better than that no-talent-hack CW.

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15 Responses to “Charlie Watts Sucks”

  1. John Campbelljohn Says:

    Hi Buddha Rats,

    I enjoy your blog. I’ve downloaded your Addictive Drums presets and look forward to checking them out. Your opinion of Charlie Watts is rather brutal but I see your point given his place in music history. When he keeps it simple, it works great but when he gets fancy, well…it doesn’t…very common in rock & roll. As many would agree, simplicity is the key.

    I’m just wondering, regarding this quote – “I like listening to the blues, even though it’s really boring to play.” I won’t get in to sophisticated jazz arrangements, but as I’m sure you know, there are many styles of blues such as jump blues, west coast blues, Chicago blues, delta blues, various forms of swing blues, country blues, rock blues, hard rock blues, Celtic blues, Texas blues…all incorporating different rhythms such as the Chicago shuffle, the Texas shuffle, rock shuffle, cut time, half time, swing, straight time rock, double kick rock shuffle, reggae & much more. It goes on & on, requiring the player to adapt to these styles, if he or she wishes to weave them in to the their own unique style and skill level. If the player wishes to interpret blues in their own way, that’s a wonderful thing but I would think a basic knowledge of the above would be an important first step. I play a lot of blues for a living but I will never master all of these styles, not for the lack of trying!

    I just can’t see how this could be “boring”.

    • Heya John, thanks for the comment. Yea, my rant about CW is harsh, but I stand by it. 🙂

      However, you’re right on the money with regard to blues music. I should probably further explain myself a bit more: I find the chord progressions to be limiting- the standard 145, etc.- and I think that no one has really done anything to push the lyric content forward in decades. For those reasons I just can’t get into playing it at all. I never have, I never will. But I do like to watch it being played by other musicians. Lets face it- it’s fun music to hang to when it’s played well, and kept simple. That’s why I love cats like Otis Spann, Muddy Waters, Mississippi Fred, Bukka, etc..

  2. I feel your opinion of Charlie Watts is missing the whole Rolling Stones experience. It’s not about who’s the best drummer – It’s all about their chemistry. Sure, Charlie is not the best drummer, but his ability fits in quite well with the rest of the boys. Keith Richards and Ronnie Wood are nowhere near the best guitar players, but taken together along with Charlie’s input, the results are quite amazing for a group that has been around for 50 odd years. I feel that although their musical abilities are not up there with the top players in the world – to which they themselves agree, you can’t really believe “sucks” is deserved.

    • Yea, I know it’s not about being the best- I actually stay away from music that is too polished (except Yes- I love that band). I’m sure he’s a good enough guy, but I just can’t buy into the hype. Sorry.

  3. Awww why the hate on Chad Smith? He’s no Elvin Jones but I’d pick him over a lot of other guys in your list (Pete Best, Densmore, Don Henley, Tommy Lee, etc).

    Agree with everything you said about Watts tho, after watching this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7u1Qlzidrn0, I went on Google and typed “Charlie Watts sucks” to find out how many people had noticed.

  4. Facts are difficult things sometimes. They have a way of rearing their ugly little heads every now and again. Well, the fact is that Charles Watts is the best at what he does, which is being the (one and only) niche specialist (most highly specialized) drummer for a 50-year-old band–The Rolling Stones! No one else could ever be the Stones’ drummer. It wouldn’t sound the same. When Bonzo crashed, so did Zeppelin. When Keith Moon crashed, so did The Who. No Watts–no Stones… It’s that simple. Even without Wyman on bass, there’s something critical missing. The Beatles (whoever was really the culprit) were correct in canning Pete Best. Imagine “Ticket To Ride” or “Tomorrow Never Knows” with Pete Best drumming? Not possible. Rich Starkey was the one who “gelled” with the Beatles’ rhythm section. Watts is the Ringo of the Stones. Watts’ legacy isn’t swing or jazz. Those are his INTERESTS. His LEGACY is as the Stones’ drummer, conjunctively creating their inimitable sound.

    • I agree with you- I think the Stones wouldn’t sound like the Stones with any other drummer. That still doesn’t mean the guy is good, it just means he’s good for them. Zep’s crash and burn was inevitable: Bonzo died, Page was a junkie and Plant lost his range. And The who should have known better to continue without Moon…

  5. The Stones never were as instrumentally accomplished as Metallica, for God’s sake. Not even close.

  6. everyone follows keith

  7. All I needed to see is that you had Peter Criss and Don Henley listed as better drummers that Watts to know you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about! Watts’ fills are fantastic. A good drummer knows when less is more. His use of cymbols is like no others. Whose better while in the pocket. Listen to Blow With Rye on Jamming With Edward – AWESOME!!! Peter Criss??? Give me a break!

  8. Best thing about this rant was the ad at the bottom for the new Zadie Smith book. Thanks for that!

    • Unfortunately, I don’t control the ads. WordPress places those and I don’t make a single red cent off anything they advertise. Glad you like the rant, and thanks for checking out the blog.

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